???:"That is both correct and host. I am the Courting Death system. Through trial and error the system has deduced that by using the voice and name of the most hated person in the Host's memories the host will then always be 17% more motivated towards courting death. Henceforth the system shall be called Akatosh but it is not the Akatosh you know of."
Armada: "YESSSSSS OH YESS FINALLY"
Who cares if its gonna sound like Akatosh this is a bona fide System. I may have started disadvantaged but with this i can still reach the Apex.
Akatosh: " to Host about the system, The more the Host courts death and survives, the more Courting Death points the host gets. The points gained from Courting Death depends on many variables but in most cases it is down to the difference in strength between the Host and his enemies. The stronger the one you pissed off is, the more CD points you gain. In order to simplify things for Host, the system shall use a simplified attribute based strength measurement for Host."
EXP till next rank: 
Akatosh:" For every 10CD Host can temporarily gain 1 Stat to be used where host wishes. If Host courts Death and survives host gains exp equivalent to the CD gained. Though Host do be warned there will be in terms of EXP depending on how Host courts death. If Host courts death and wins, host shall gain full exp. If host only managed to court death and survive by running away shall be made."
Akatosh:"Now Host, Do you wish to court death?"
Akatosh:" Do you wish to reach the Apex?"
Akatosh:" Very well then. System now fully , You currently have 20 CD points, Do you wish to use them as attributes?"
Armada:"YES!!!! EVERYTHING INTO STRENGTH."
Akatosh:" Very well, turning 20 CD points into +2 STR. shall be completed in 5, 4, 3, 2, THERE ARE CURRENTLY SINGLE LADIES WAITING FOR YOU IN THE AREA PLEASE CLICK HERE."
Armada:" WHAT THE FUCK?! NO NO NO NO SKIP SKIP!!!!!"
Akatosh:" Skipping ad in 5,4,3,2..... DO NOT LET YOUR GIRLFRIEND SEE YOU THIS GAME FOR MORE INFO PLEASE CLICK HERE"
ARMADA:" SKIP!!! SKIP!!!!!!!"
Akatosh:"Skipping ad in 5,4,3,2.... HAVE YOU BEEN BORN WITH NEITHER A PLUG NOR A SOCKET? HAVE YOU BEEN BORN WITH A WALL? DO YOU WISH TO FIND OUT HOW TO RETURN TO YOUR ORIGINAL GENDER? CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO"
Armada:" GOD DAMN IT AKATOSH I SAID SKI- NO WAIT CLICK! CLICK IT! OPEN IN NEW TAB!"
Akatosh:"All ads have been skipped."
Armada:" Wait what about that one?! can you open it again? and WHY IS THERE EVEN ADS, SYSTEM?!"
Akatosh: "Host please think about it logically, where do you think systems gain the power to give you stats and what not? You think this is a freeware? No. We need some form or another to gain power, its not like we can charge Spirit stones....YET..."
Armada:" alright fine fuck it. just give me my STR bonus!"
Akatosh:" Apologies host. STR bonus can not be applied as the CD points have been expired due to host not being in combat for more than 1 minute...."
Armada:"What do you mean not in combat?! I've been getting my ass handed to me for the past 2 chap- no wait wtf?"
Opening my eyes and and starting to focus on whats going on instead of arguing with Akatosh i notice that the trucker hat has during some time or the other been backing off while their eyes betray sheer fear and disgust. The moment i had eye contact with them, specifically the Trucker hat young boss, he started shivering.
Young Boss:" Billy! Bob! G-g-go deal with him!"
Billy:" Boss wait please, theres something wrong with that kid. I've never heard of a guy yelling YES YES YES While getting beaten up!! Jeebus!!! Does he swing that way?!:"
Bob:" Boss Skipper, Billy's right, besides when we stopped hitting him he started yelling out NO and calling out your name Skip, i think he wants you boss, not us!!!"
Young Boss Skipper:" Y-y-y-you guys! don't sell me out here!!!"
... What the actual fuck?! so now im supposedly an M?! well i might as well profit from this .
Armada:" Ahh Skippy no need to be scared, i also know quite a lot of Older brothers that would LOVE to get to know you, now unless you want to meet them. Leave your wallets and Belon-"
I couldn't even manage to finish my by the time they just threw everything in their pockets and ran.... Hell i could've almost sworn they were running away faster than when they were chasing me.... Oh well...